Department of Health & Welfare

Minister for Health


Box 69

Cape Town


Cape Town, November 17, 2009



Subject : New contamination possible in most Provinces

Recent studies conducted on "aphthous fever" (for which we have just received conclusive results) indicate that in certain cases this can be transmitted to humans. We foresee a possible contamination in most provinces. Cases have been reported in Gauteng (1331), Mpumalanga (24), Western Cape (10), Northern Cape (10), Kwazulu-Natal (23) and more recently in the Eastern Cape (15).

It was observed that the subjects examined were regular consumers of wine and spirits. Most (97,6%) of the subjects would encounter serious problems with their vision when having gone without sex for 1 to 2 days on average.

Extended periods without sex would seriously affect the individuals reading capabilities. The subjects would also feel a trembling sensation. In extreme cases, individuals would start to hallucinate and see coloured specks when staring at an object for extended periods.

If you encounter any such patients having these symptoms, please contact the Crisis Centre in Cape Town immediately.

Our research to date has resulted in a cure, sex every day for 3 months with plenty beetroot and garlic!!!

Please pass this document on to everyone you believe at risk!!!

Yours sincerely


Special Advisors:

Mr Johnny Walker

Captain Morgan