L isten to and encourage regular chats with your child.
A cknowledge his feelings - he needs to know that you understand and support him.
B oundaries and rules should be clear and consistent – this allows your child to build self-control and stops feelings from determining his actions.
E ncourage your child to describe how he feels . Be understanding when your child struggles to do this. Describing feelings takes practice and develops as children mature
L abel your child’s feelings and not him – instead of “You are so careless”, rather say, "It seems like you are frustrated with your homework today”.
If you can succeed at improving the emotional intelligence in your child, you can be assured that he will be better equipped to cope with whatever curve-ball life throws his way.
Article by Angelique Victor – Master Trainer and Franchisee EQual Zeal Blouberg
Angelique Victor – Master Trainer and Franchisee EQual Zeal Blouberg
I run the Blouberg branch of EQual Zeal, which has been in operation since April 2009. Taking the decision to run my own business was probably the easiest decision I have ever had to make. After being a foundation phase teacher for 12 years, I realised that my destiny was not to teach children, but rather to EQuip them so that they would be successful in life and not just in the classroom. In my dealings with children and their parents, I became aware of the need for guidance and assistance within the family unit so that families were better equipped to face the challenges of the 21 st Century. Family life is terribly busy and time is an expensive commodity and I wanted to give families the resources needed to cope successfully as a REAL family in today’s modern world.
I took myself out of my comfort zone and extended myself by doing additional part-time courses in Mediational Approaches to Learning, Discovering the Building Blocks of Thinking, Public Relations and Counseling. This is when I started to grow and develop as an individual. My friends and family noticed the change in me and commented that because I was living my dream, I had become the epitome of the EQual Zeal philosophy of having ZEAL for life!
I became more confident and in turn, made decisions which effectively utilized my passion for children and I started presenting SADAG -endorsed awareness workshops on Teenage Depression and Suicide to children, parents, teachers and to other professionals who would benefit. From there I offered my services to Funds for Africa, a company who raises funds for Childline Western Cape, and then I finally accepted my greater purpose, which was to use the skills and talents God had given me so that I could be instrumental in helping children to become happier, more motivated and inspired.
My greatest challenge to date has been balancing my passion for my career and my passion for my family. During the inception of EQual Zeal Blouberg in 2009, I struggled to find the right balance of family and career and husband of 12 years, Phillip and my children, Nathan (age 9) and Adrienne (age 8) were often the ones to get “what was left of me” after a busy day.
However, after some adjustment and compromise, we managed to find the recipe which works spot-on. My family is non-negotiable and my top priority. I ensure that it stays that way by following some simple rules:
1) I schedule one afternoon a week for my children and we do something special after school.
2) I maintain regular contact with my children’s teacher and supervise homework every day.
3) My husband and I have a “date night” once a week – either Friday or Saturday- and also take turns in arranging a termly “extra-mural” to do together, which is done on a week night. This term it’s a Cooking Course.
4) At least one day of the week is spent on doing something together as a family – even if it is only a cycle or a walk to the beach to have an ice-cream
5) My laptop (and Blackberry) is switched off at 17h30 (most of the time!)
6) We have dinner together every evening
7) I take an hour every day doing something that I enjoy : reading, walking, catching up on my weekly dose of Grey’s Anatomy, Lie To Me and The Mentalist etc.
And generally, if I follow my own set of rules, we manage very well to keep that see-saw from wobbling or tipping over!
I continue to be involved in SADAG workshops and fund-raising for Childline, and alongside EQual Zeal as my main career focus, play an important role in shaping who I am, and where I want to be in 20 years time. My dream is to touch as many young lives as possible. To touch them in such a way that they acknowledge, reflect and accept that the world is a better place because they are in it!
My favourite inspirational piece at the moment is not by Ghandi or Kipling or even by a famous philosopher. Would you believe it’s the words sung by a 16-year old?
“It ain’t about how fast you get there. It ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side. It’s the climb”
This song always reminds me to stay on track, to stay motivated, keep the faith and to enjoy every moment of my journey!